by Margaret Curtis, PhD
The latest version of Shakespeare’s famous tragedy shows remarkable innovations. As the UK Telegraph reports on October 1, 2012:
Jeremy Forrest 'still desperate to be near schoolgirl lover'
“Jeremy Forrest, the maths teacher who eloped to France with a 15-year old pupil decided not [to] fight extradition to the UK to enable him to remain “near to the one he loves”, it emerged yesterday.”
The most startling addition here to the famous plot makes Romeo a teacher—and a “maths teacher,” no less. Readers may well wonder how this “teacher” could ignore numerical limitations on eloping, as well as supporting his romantic partner in a foreign country.
Nevertheless, The Telegraph assures readers that the two planned to stay in France until Megan Stammers passed the age limit next year—and her hubbie-to-be found work at a cash-paying bar.
Other than French and British police, only one monkey wrench appeared in that version of their Dream Plan: Jeremy already possesses one wife. What did he plan to do with two? Wouldn’t a real “maths teacher” have wrestled with that equation?
Imagine the limitations of the Bard’s imagination—even he never dreamed of making Romeo a married man! The age differential between the two lovers now demonstrates that romantic passion subjects thirty-somethings to foolishness, too.
What a promising dramatic adaptation! Gendarmes rush down the street to catch a married man accused of kidnapping a girl enrolled at his school. Then, the girl appears on screen, decked in a Hollywood hairdo, blowing kisses to her fans.
The last scene, so far, reveals that same young girl dressed all in black, boarding a jet to haul her back to the UK, where the drama began. Meanwhile, her wannabe lover forfeits his chance to learn French like a national so he can be only a prison away from his lover.
What Hollywood will do with this adaptation remains to be seen, but these two goofballs give them a heck of a start. The kicker in this spoof on romantic drama proves to be the girl’s passport, which came from Jeremy’s wife, so says The Telegraph now.
If this play were Dallas or Law and Order, the next segment would occur in a court room, where Jeremy’s wife would have the last word. At any rate, that segment would give her the appearance she deserves, and offer her a chance to reclaim, if not use, her passport.
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Soap opera fans can consult the full Telegraph version of Shakespeare's tragedy on this website: <http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/crime/9577647/Jeremy-Forrest-still-desperate-to-be-near-schoolgirl-lover.html>.