Baltimore's Children

Investigators of the recent Baltimore riots need to speak with Charm City's children. They also need to inventory the childhood activities of both rioters and protestors.

Descriptions of a Baltimore childhood run the full gamut from charming to deadly. One young woman told me she studied ballet for fourteen years. A phalanx of young men told me they spent their childhood setting fires.

Drugs played a significant role in all discussions I witnessed on this subject. Some young Baltimoreans admitted they sold drugs from the age of ten. Others described being on Ritalin for so long that they did not remember their childhood.

Gang membership was a given in some neighborhoods. "Snitches get stitches" was a common saying among gang sympathizers. Gang members may also admit they will NEVER report crimes out of loyalty to their gangs.

 

In this context, it is worth remembering that gangs fight over turf and drug clientele. The above reports only came to me as I worked in the Baltimore area for five years. More thorough statistics must surely be available from the Community-Organizer-in-Chief.

A Dog's Strategy

by Meg Curtis

He left his last bone on my balcony. He licked it a couple of times, and then moved it to the location where he wished it to stay. It remains in that position because I refuse to throw it away.

 

That dog suffered from canine T cell lymphoma for at least six months. At the end he would not, could not, eat. He turned up his nose at the treats he had begged for as his just reward for filling a hole in the universe the size of Texas at least.

 

He spent his last two weeks on that balcony. Once I allowed him to go out there by himself, he stretched out flat on the cool concrete. If snow had invaded the concrete, he ate it. If snow filled the air, he greeted it like the best shower on earth.

 

Steroids kept him alive for six months. For that time, he remained active, although lymphoma was creeping up on him. He began panting heavily, however, and rolled in the snow every chance he got. Walking him got to be a search for the disappearing white stuff.

 

His passion for my balcony only became clear on Easter morning. Then I stood directly behind him, inside my windows, watching to see what kept his head planted between the protective rails on the balcony. Until I called him regularly, to prevent freezing, he didn't move.

 

A light snow had descended on Easter morning. Only then did I realize that he wasn't looking at the ground or road nearby. He was pointed across the road, where the snow outlined every branch and bramble. The snow made visible what had been there all along: a rabbit shape.

 

I kept as still as he did. I waited to see if my imagination was creating fantasies in the snow-lit landscape--until that rabbit took off like a bullet. The dog remained as calm as his breed requires: half cocker and half cavalier, he showed his hunting instincts could never be quelled.

 

So, I suspect that he dragged that bone out there and planted it exactly where he planned to return--if biology can keep up with the passion of a hunting dog. I told him there are lots of rabbits in heaven. What kind of a place would heaven be without rabbits?

 

In heaven, of course, a hunting dog doesn't eat rabbits--unless God decides they're overrunning the place. A hunting dog just points them out, waits for his director to decide their fate, and then hands them to God as tenderly as that dog brought me a forgotten slipper.

 

God speed, my hunter. His breed serves by keeping his eye on essentials. Now, the snow has gone, so the rabbits are still there, along with God-knows-what across the road. The vision he gave me remains: to see through the falderal to the truth, no matter the confusion cleared by Easter.

Iraq Faux Pas: The Next Trick

by Meg Sonata

A friend of mine used to say, “Now, for my next trick....” when he dribbled hot sauce on his favorite tie. The purpose of this phrase becomes obvious: deft recognition that the speaker has committed a faux pas, a social error that cuts the speaker from his gang's pool and holiday parties.

French may offer the international language of diplomacy, but in American English, the art of speaking the truth slant becomes poetry, the achievement of Emily Dickinson, a spinster who never traveled to Iraq or presumed she knew how Iraqis should celebrate their social events.

God knows—in whatever language He speaks now in the West—Senator Dianne Feinstein could use a translator for her proclamations. As reported by CNN, she declared: “The Maliki government, candidly, has got to go if you want any reconciliation," under their headline: “Chorus grows for al-Maliki to go.”

So, we're speaking “candidly” now? Okay, let's begin by acknowledging we've heard this chorus before. We heard the ranting rise—let's see, how long is the list?--over Iraq, Egypt, Syria, Libya—and, if we're speaking “candidly,” that same chorus now grows for US leaders to be more than bobble-heads.

Yes, while job openings may appear slim, there's always an opportunity for Mr. or Ms. Fix-it in the US. Now, credentials for this position in Iraq remain the question: How many Americans know World History back to the seventh century? How about the Roman Empire? You good on that, too?

Grievances in the Middle East run clear back to the Great Pyramids. These include whether they should still be standing, who should stand over them waving a banner, and who has a right to export wonders of the ancient world—from East to West, and even West to West.

Step forward, applicants for the Mr./Ms. Fix-It position in Iraq. Oh please, lecture us again. We are holding our breath to see how many sentences you can construct with out-sourcing to shock and awe us. A competition for faux pas comes with the territory; the records for faux pas are just outstanding!

"Ignorant Folks" and Wiretapping Laws in the US

"Ignorant Folks" and Wiretapping Laws in the US 
(9_ 9) A New Rolling Eyes Column!

by Meg Sonata

In all disputes concerning recorded conversations, where are the legal statements from lawyers regarding federal and state regulations on wiretapping? The following website offers an overview and sources for "ignorant folks who want to advertise their ignorance," as highlighted by CNN in its lead story this morning: 

http://www.dmlp.org/legal-guide/recording-phone-calls-and-conversations 

This website may prove invaluable because it offers links to states' laws, too. 

See also: http://www.cnn.com/2014/04/27/us/nba-team-owner-alleged-racist-remarks/index.html?hpt=hp_t1

Should Jeb Bush Run for President?

How about Jeb Bush taking up painting? In just two years, his brother has progressed from painting himself in a bathtub--which is better than painting himself into a corner. In his case, that corner was Iraq, and this country doesn't need another country on our "To Re-Do" list--or our Bucket List--or our "They-love-us-until-we-help-them-and-then-they-hate-us" list.

Since George Bush is painting world leaders now, how about Jeb painting a series of American leaders? He could start with mayors and progress to governors. Since that list is ungovernable, he could shorten it to a series of governors NOT running for president. There you go, Jeb! What better way for a Bush to be America's favorite un-president? 

America has enjoyed its share of Bushes and presidents from Texas and elections from Florida. How about returning to reality--like a president from Alaska, which would break the mold of dynastic and imperialistic US leaders! Yes, one woman knew where Russia is, and she alerted the US to the Russian bear on the prowl. Why didn't more voters listen?

Can this country vote for a leader based on their knowledge and intelligence, instead of demeaning any candidate who speaks his/her mind? The temptation to make history, instead of sense, plagues America now, worse than bird flu or the Ebola virus. Let Americans think for themselves, and be brave enough to see what happens. How's that for a campaign slogan?

Until the 2014 and 2016 elections arrive, can America even imagine a future when legislators would tend to their responsibilities, instead of campaign fund raising? When they would take out their calculators while planning budgets, and actually read bills before voting them into law? Can they set an example for US students in math and reading? Well, since we're Americans, we can always dream. 

Pat Buchanan Lets His Arrow Fly

On this Sunday morning, be sure to listen to Pat Buchanan's sermon on the practical implications of holding fast to traditional Christian virtues. Like an arrow----> http://www.creators.com/opinion/pat-buchanan.htm
----> Buchanan's geopolitical analysis flies to the heart of rivalry between global powers. 

Watch out when Russia and Islam agree that the West sides with Satan. That is my point, not Buchanan's, but, numerically and geographically, it is equally significant. Putin's stand against immorality may tamp down Muslim unrest in countries which once formed part of the USSR. If they have to choose between attacking Satan or Russia, which will they pick? 

In this context, it is worth taking a good look at George Bush's portrait of Putin at http://news.yahoo.com/photos/portraits-by-george-w-bush-slideshow/. Do you see any trouble with Putin's eyes? Cold and merciless, yes. Glasses needed? No. Like a monocle, shadow outlines that right eye--which focuses on the future like a glittering firefly. 

While the West jokes about tolerating lies and escalating debts, do you see any humor in Putin's face? Do you see him planning an appearance on the Late Night with Jimmie Fallon show? Is he portrayed with his golf bag hooked over his shoulder, or with his wife and daughters spending millions in China? 

How can the West counter a cold-hearted realist who chooses Christianity as his flag ship in international diplomacy? Who offers Crimea a vote on their mother ship? Who offers Edward Snowden sanctuary in the practice of free speech? What does the US do with a rival who competes with America at being the legendary America?

America: A Nation of Ninnies? A New Rolling Eyes Column! ((0) (0))

At 4:13 am on April 2, 2014, America's challenges seem obvious--and, as much as I hate to yank credit, they aren't Obama's fault. Is he responsible for a TV commercial which runs nightly, claiming that everybody's talking about No-No, a hair-removal device? Did he personally orchestrate another TV commercial which claims that everybody's happier with a tan? No, no!

Does anybody in his right mind believe these claims? Not one of my neighbors rushes at me to exclaim over No-No. As a fair-skinned American, I blanch at the insistence that I need a tan. Tanning machines offer a prescription for skin cancer for Casper the Ghost and his relatives. Yet these demands keep pouring at America's night-owls--and pouring out of our media into the world--and nobody objects.

Meanwhile, the search for MH370 concerns security analysts worldwide. Earthquakes threaten California and Chile. Cancer patients may not know whether Obamacare gives them health insurance or not. And--the kicker!--Americans know more about energy supplies in the Ukraine than they do in their own states. Just dive into research on energy suppliers and distributers in the US, if you're very, very brave.

Since when have we, as a nation, accepted outright nonsense as our nightly fare? Since when do we pay more attention to body hair and a "glowing" tan than we do to the power that keeps that TV running and the heat on during a savage winter? As the Arctic vortex eases, can we expect US citizens to walk out of their insulated caves like sleepy bears, and shriek: "Yikes! What's happening?"

Here's a newsflash if we need one: That savage winter has drained US energy sources, and sent fuel bills sky-high! Just call your energy company for the real scoop because you won't find it on the media. And here's the devil in the details: No amount of body hair has been keeping us warm this winter. Tans won't accomplish that miracle, either. Require relevant information from the media because hairless amoebas enjoy very short lives.