Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Barrack Obama: The Birds and Bears Speech

By Meg Curtis, PhD

Loose lips sink ships—and bears, too. Is American manufacturing under siege from the American presidency? Ever since the infamous “You Didn’t Build That” speech, questions arise about what those words mean.

Must this writer’s granddaughter now accept as fact that she didn’t build her Build-A-Bear buddy? She certainly thought she did, and her parents gave her that impression, too. Now, must they issue a retraction, and set about an Obama plan for re-education?

How does this first “Birds and Bears” speech go?

“Okay, dear, do you remember what we told you about building a bear?”
“And, remember how your bear was special because nobody else made one quite like it?”
"And remember how your bear looks really cute because it’s different from all the others?”
“Well, that may not be true.”
“We want to tell you this ourselves because that is a parent’s responsibility.”
“You didn’t build that bear. I’m sorry, honey, but we got this straight from the president.”
“It’s my bear! Yes, I did!”
“No, honey, it’s not your bear because you didn’t build it, really.”
“I built it, and I can take it apart, too!”
“Stop, honey, stop tearing that bear up!”
“It’s my bear! I’m gonna tear it up, and make it again tomorrow!”
“Wait! Wait! You don’t need to do that—“
“Yes, I do! I can prove this bear is mine and nobody else’s!”
“You better go to bed, honey. We can talk about this tomorrow.”
“No, I’m not going to bed!”
“We’ll read you your favorite story—“
“No, no, no, no, no! You can’t have my bear!”
“It’s about Goldilocks and the three bears—”
“Well, who made those bears?”
“Gosh, I don’t know. The White House hasn’t put out a statement on that yet.”
“Well, they can’t have those bears, either!”
“Shhh. Just let us tuck you in. It’ll be all better tomorrow.”
*  *  *  *  *
“Should we tell her?”
“She’s too young to understand, dear. It’ll just upset her if we explain the government made her, too.”

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