by Margaret Curtis, PhD
The latest version of
Shakespeare’s famous tragedy shows remarkable innovations. As the UK Telegraph
reports on October 1, 2012:
Jeremy Forrest 'still
desperate to be near schoolgirl lover'
“Jeremy Forrest, the maths teacher who eloped
to France with a 15-year old pupil decided not [to] fight extradition to the UK
to enable him to remain “near to the one he loves”, it emerged yesterday.”
The most startling addition here to the famous
plot makes Romeo a teacher—and a “maths teacher,” no less. Readers may well
wonder how this “teacher” could ignore numerical limitations on eloping, as
well as supporting his romantic partner in a foreign country.
Nevertheless, The Telegraph assures readers
that the two planned to stay in France until Megan Stammers passed the age
limit next year—and her hubbie-to-be found work at a cash-paying bar.
Other than French and British police, only one
monkey wrench appeared in that version of their Dream Plan: Jeremy already
possesses one wife. What did he plan to do with two? Wouldn’t a real “maths
teacher” have wrestled with that equation?
Imagine the limitations of the Bard’s
imagination—even he never dreamed of making Romeo a married man! The age differential
between the two lovers now demonstrates that romantic passion subjects
thirty-somethings to foolishness, too.
What a promising dramatic
adaptation! Gendarmes rush down the street to catch a married man accused of
kidnapping a girl enrolled at his school. Then, the girl appears on screen,
decked in a Hollywood hairdo, blowing kisses to her fans.
The last scene, so far,
reveals that same young girl dressed all in black, boarding a jet to haul her
back to the UK, where the drama began. Meanwhile, her wannabe lover forfeits his
chance to learn French like a national so he can be only a prison away from his
lover.
What Hollywood will do
with this adaptation remains to be seen, but these two goofballs give them a
heck of a start. The kicker in this spoof on romantic drama proves to be the
girl’s passport, which came from Jeremy’s wife, so says The Telegraph now.
If this play were Dallas
or Law and Order, the next segment would occur in a court room, where Jeremy’s
wife would have the last word. At any rate, that segment would give her the
appearance she deserves, and offer her a chance to reclaim, if not use, her
passport.
* * * * *
Soap opera fans can consult the full Telegraph version of Shakespeare's tragedy on this website: <http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/crime/9577647/Jeremy-Forrest-still-desperate-to-be-near-schoolgirl-lover.html>.
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