Cats and
Christmas Trees
By Margaret
Curtis, PhD
This year’s
holiday centerpiece sits on a table, waiting for the cat attack. This tree’s
two feet tall; so are the cats, lying down. A revolving disco light sits beside
the tree, to segregate temptations. Only one kind of ornament graces the green
branches: miniature nutcrackers. If they can’t take care of themselves, we’ll
have to research the ballet again.
Previous
Christmas decorations included the Red Cardinal tree. Its only ornaments came
from a local flower shop, which had dismissed its population of red birds,
graced with real feathers. These birds had to be smuggled onto the tree in the
middle of the night, since my cats respond primarily to movement, not color or
sentiment, although they do favor dancing mice.
So, here are rules
I’ve created to get through the holidays with cats, trees, and sanity intact:
1.
Keep
the scheme simple.
2.
Forgo
round shiny bulbs; they’ll be the first to be
stolen.
3.
Keep
the schedule of a cat burglar, setting up
decorations after midnight.
4.
If
cats find boxes lying around, they’ll get the
ornaments before they make it to
the tree.
5.
But
if cats discover a tree already decorated, they may
mistake it for furniture.
Felines are
due this acknowledgement: The same temperament and instincts which lead them to
investigate Christmas trees like squirrels’ nests, also lead them into corners
where spiders hide. The same sense of smell which goes after cookies and
popcorn will hunt down socks, too. So keep guests’ feet in their socks.
Otherwise, they may leave your home without them.
Never leave
anything in plain sight which cats might be tempted to hunt and eat. A very
long list of cats’ favorite goodies includes eyeglasses, birth control devices,
watches, bracelets, rings, pens, pencils, hats, coats (for making into
mattresses), fur and tails of any kind whatsoever. So place a tree up somewhere
if possible. That way, cats at least have to lose weight as they go after it.
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