Vertical Dog vs. Horizontal Man

By Meg Curtis

MSN offers two reports on May 19, 2012, which form a right angle. First, a fluffy canine treads the sidewalk on two back legs, holding the torso proudly so the perspective is above the knees. The dog dances down a community street here:  http://www.bing.com/search?q=wash+post&src=IE-SearchBox&FORM=IE8SRC

Next, a thirty-three year-old male of the human species requests relief from the court for the thirty offspring he produced out-of-wedlock—almost one child per year of his life.  Surprisingly, the man shows his face here:  http://now.msn.com/money/0518-man-30-kids-child-support.aspx

The solution for the man’s problem could not be clearer, thanks to MSN’s staging the two stories in immediate proximity. If the man spent his career in a vertical position—say, as a bank teller, counting money—would he still have time to clutter the street with offspring whom he can ill afford?

Math and integrity match when it comes to careers. Apparently, the dog in this case aims at an upright life—even if the creature must swing that backbone until it must hurt, for four-legged creatures carry their weight distributed among four feet, which usually supply stability for a spine beginning at the neck and ending with a ballast of a tail.

In this dog’s case, though, the canine imitates the child attached to the dog with an umbilical leash. It doesn’t need prodding—just dances right along behind the child, who plays the role of a responsible parent. Monkey see, monkey do?  No! This dog must see better than a monkey that, if the dog wishes to be taken for a walk in the human fashion, then the dog will cough up the extra change to perfect the masquerade.

The reverse observation completes as the viewer acknowledges: Yes, the male of the human species could assume the role of parent, too.  That change would also require that he become a father with an umbilical leash to remind him: The child starved of love and support may forget he can proceed upright, and lie down on the job.

But, just like the dog in this case, the human child does more than tricks when it rewards its master’s love. For THAT, it will walk any way a father demonstrates will bring unceasing rewards. For THAT, it may even change into a human being, dance down the street—right to the employment office and woof its way to promotions bringing Dad’s tie, vest, and timepiece.

For the complete stories, including incriminating photos and video, be sure to check out MSN NOW What’s Trending on Saturday, May 19, 2012, at 2:59 pm. Let’s hope this trend reverses faster than readers can say:  “Oh no, not another human circus story!”